I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
