I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.