Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real