Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
