mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
