i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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