Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
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