well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
