p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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