how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
