She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
