Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
