I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
