We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
