dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize