So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
