I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
