For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
