we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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