He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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