Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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