Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We're too hungover to prance.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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