you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize