It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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