fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
