maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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