Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
