That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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