Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We are all done wearing pants today
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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