I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
