Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
