Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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