ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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