Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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