Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
