Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize