I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
