Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
