Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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