Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
