you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
