C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
