just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
