I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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