he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He passed out mid-signature
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
