you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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