p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
