Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
