i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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