i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
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he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
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I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.