we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
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I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
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I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex