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OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
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