I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
