How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I cannot find my penis.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
