we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
