i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize