He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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