Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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