We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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