And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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