the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
