haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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