my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
