some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
