Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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