he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
